Return Home to Your Self
What does it mean to return home to your Self? One of the underlying assumptions within the Internal Family Systems model is that everyone has a Self, a wise and healing inner essence that cannot be damaged or broken no matter what a person has experienced in their lives. Certain circumstances, emotional wounds, and complex trauma might mean access to this Self is elusive and difficult for parts of us to trust. However, your Self is always there, even if it has been covered up and absent for long periods of time throughout your life.
Self is a state of being, not a theoretical construct. It is something I teach my clients how to access, not attain.
In IFS, healing is possible when one is able to access the qualities of this core Self. Dick Schwartz’s essay The Larger Self provides a wonderful sense of this. He begins:
“We all know about those luminous moments of clarity and balance, in our own lives and in those of our clients, which come briefly now and again. However we get there, we suddenly encounter a feeling of inner plenitude and open heartedness to the world that wasn’t there the moment before. The incessant nasty chatter inside our heads ceases, we have a sense of calm spaciousness, as if our minds and hearts and souls had expanded and brightened. Sometimes, these evanescent experiences come in a bright glow of peaceful certainty that everything in the universe is truly okay, and that includes us – you and me individually – in all our poor struggling, imperfect humanity. At other times, we may experience a wave of joyful connection with others that washes away irritation, distrust, and boredom. We feel that, for once, we truly are ourselves, our real selves, free of the inner cacophony that usually assaults us.”
When Self can be accessed and trusted, it lead an individual's internal system much in the way an orchestra conductor leads a chorus. This concept of the Self is what differentiates IFS from other approaches that incorporate aspects of parts work.
So many possibilities for healing await as you get to know your parts and find your way back home to your Self. As an IFS therapist, I guide my clients in getting to know the many resourceful, dedication, and valuable parts of themselves, and in the process, learning to access the Self so that it can lead the internal system.
Want to get started with IFS therapy? Click here for next steps and to request a free 20-minute consultation with Alicia.